


You named a snake after me?

by ParrisRatLord173



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Crack, Ed is afraid of snakes, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, If Ed the dog was a snake, Light Angst, M/M, Oswald is insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 00:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18128276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParrisRatLord173/pseuds/ParrisRatLord173
Summary: “Ed what happened?” Oswald questioned opening the double doors dramatically to find his friend Standing awkwardly on the chaise lounge on the other side of the room. Edward only spared him a glance before desperately gesturing to the floor and stepping further onto the furniture.Oh, he had found Eddie, of course.





	You named a snake after me?

**Author's Note:**

> Idk man Ed's a snake so why not have a snake named after him? I love ed the dog though he's my favourite character.

“Oswald what the hell!”

Oswald put his head in his hands, why, why on earth did he think inviting Edward Nygma back into his life with open arms was a good idea. Why did he seek the man out for god’s sake? He’d been bothered every five minutes with questions and had to deal with Ed’s snooping around the house criticising every little part.

He’d never admit it but it has been the best few weeks since the bridges fell, having Ed back. They were friends again, or at least allies. Ed’s submarine plans are going along well, and they even got Barbara off their backs, with the downside of teaming up with the woman.

“Yes Edward?” Oswald called out impatient, he couldn’t get one thing done without interruption at this point. After the experience with Penn and the strange dummy, Ed had moved his operations back to city hall. 

“Get up here now!” Ed squealed, well that can’t be good. Ed only goes that high pitch when he’s either terrified or has eaten an onion. There’s no fresh produce in Gotham anymore so it definitely isn’t the latter.

Oswald stood up from his seat and adjusted his ankle brace for more support and rushed up stairs, Ed’s voice had come from up there. Although the only room up there was his own bedroom and a lounge space all in one. It was amazing how much the constant pain in his leg had gone down after the brace and he often cursed himself for not getting one before.

“Ed what happened?” Oswald questioned opening the double doors dramatically to find his friend Standing awkwardly on the chaise lounge on the other side of the room. Edward only spared him a glance before desperately gesturing to the floor and stepping further onto the furniture. 

Oh, he had found Eddie, of course.

“Oh god why did you let him out?” 

“Why the ever-loving shit do you have a snake?”

Eddie the snake, a little, harmless corn snake he had found at an abandoned pet shop. The poor thing was half starved and Oswald out of sympathy stole an enclosure and took it home. It was one of his only companions in the time since the bridges blew and always brought a smile to his face. It turned out Eddie loved being handled and since there was always an abundance of rats and mice in Gotham feeding him wasn’t much trouble. In fact, having a snake around his neck or in his arms probably made him all the more intimidating. 

Knowing Edward was afraid of the little snake made the situation all the more amusing.

Eddie was named after Edward, of course, after finding his friend cold and bled out on the dark ground next two his beloved doctor and the supposed ‘failed’ operation by Hugo strange left him appropriately heartbroken. He needed someone, or something to fill it up and this little fellow had done exactly that. However, with human Ed back in his life he’d been neglecting his little angry shoelace friend.

“Edward, meet Eddie the snake. He’s quite harmless although I don’t suggest provoking him, he will strike.” Oswald strolled over and picked up the little snake off the floor and began handling him. 

The snake poked his tongue out at him and made a small hiss. “Hello to you too friend.” Oswald smiled.

Edward, the human one, still standing on the chaise lounge’s expression went from fear and concern to just concern. “You named a snake after me? Is that a backhanded insult or a judge of character?” Edward said gingerly stepping down from the couch but keeping his distance from Oswald’s noddle friend. 

“Neither,” Oswald said handling the snake and letting it run up his arms, clinging onto him like a leech, “He been my only friend for quite some time.” Oswald scratched gently under the snake’s chin like one would a dog.

Edward’s expression softened from mocking to almost sad. “Why after me? We’ve been enemies for quite some time until recently Oswald I don’t see why you’d want a reminder of me, of all people.” He said quietly.

“I missed you Ed, you keep forgetting I thought you were dead. That despite my best efforts and anything I tried that you were gone for good. I didn’t need you in my life but knowing you were out there was enough. Then you were gone. Having a reminder of you was all I had left.” 

“Oswald after everything I’ve done to you was it really worth it?”

“Ed you said recently that we accept each other for who we are, you’re one of the only people who ever accepted me at all. Of course, I still needed you.” Oswald sighed before turning to put Eddie back in his enclosure, god he needed to fill up the water dish too, how could he forget.

He felt Edward approach behind him and felt arms around him. Oswald tensed for a moment before relaxing into Ed. He could really get used to this again.

“I missed you too Oswald.” Ed murmured. “Even when I supposedly hated you, I couldn’t ever really stop.”

“Even though I named a snake after you? I thought you’d be offended by that for weeks. That’s why I didn’t exactly tell you we had a third roommate here.”

Oswald tried desperately to make the subject lighter again, he couldn’t handle more truths revealed. If he brought up too much Ed would know. His comment about how they were ‘meant for each other’ was already too much. He couldn’t bear the thought of loosing Ed again if he couldn’t get his emotions under control. Ed couldn’t know he still loved him.

Oswald turned to face Ed who had reluctantly let go of Oswald. “I didn’t even realize the whole snake double meaning before.” Oswald forced out a laugh. Ed smiled, genuine.

“I’m more flattered, although I can’t believe it was a snake. Literally any other animal would’ve been better.”

“Hey I like reptiles! It’s not like I could handle a dog, or cat. Hmm Edward the dog sounds good actually.” Oswald pretended to ponder it. 

“We’re not getting more versions of me!” Ed looked scandalised. 

“Hmm you’re right, one’s enough let alone too. Although Eddie the snake tells less riddles I must say. A lot quieter.” Oswald joked.

“You can’t replace me with a snake, That’s even worse.” Ed whines and Oswald laughs, “I could never replace you my friend.” 

“Good, I don’t ever want to leave your side again.” Ed looks down on Oswald whose breath was caught by the sudden exclamation. He could feel his cheeks heating up and prayed Ed wouldn’t notice. Of course, he would though, the observative bastard.

“Os?” Ed repeated and Oswald felt the heat on his face go up a notch at the new nickname. God Ed was good at turning him in a flustered mess without meaning too. Oh, Oswald thought, I probably should have responded by now.

“Good, I don’t want you to leave.” Oswald stuttered trying to sound as confident as Ed but failing miserably. Ed’s smile returned and Oswald died a little more. Ed leaned down and Oswald’s heart stopped as he suddenly felt Ed’s lips on his.

Oh god so this is what people meant by sparks fly? 

This was possibly the strangest time Ed could’ve chosen to make his move, not after Oswald’s not-so-subtle flirting comment a while ago and not during their reunion. Now, after discovering a pet snake named after him. Not that he would ever complain though.

It was brief, definitely too brief in Oswald’s opinion, but god was it wonderful. It genuinely took Oswald a moment to process that yes it was real not some cruel dream. Ed’s hand’s slipped around Oswald’s waist and Oswald’s flew into Ed’s hair, ruining it. 

It was dry and there was no tongue, but it was perfect for Oswald. It was also his first kiss. They pulled apart both panting. Oswald was completely out of breath and Ed looked awed and just as flustered as him.

“I still can’t believe you named a snake after me Os, but I love it either way.” Ed grinned. Oswald let out a breathless laugh and pulled Ed in for another Kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Roses are red, cacti are prickly, oh my, that escalated quickly.
> 
> I wanted a fluffy ending, sue me.


End file.
